I Hate Dog The Bounty Hunter

I Hate Dog The Bounty Hunter

Just when you thought TV couldn’t get more annoying, they give Dog The Bounty Hunter his own show called Dog The Bounty Hunter; and I hate Dog The Bounty Hunter because he is fake.

If you have not seen the show, it’s about a Bounty Hunter and his annoying family that all look like they just got out of a Def Leppard Video filmed in 1984 ; they drive around In Hawaii pretend to arrest criminals that jumped bail. For TV props and added drama, Dog the Bounty hunter and his annoying family carry paintball guns that don’t even work, “I never seen one shot fired in all the two episodes that I painfully watched.” What’s really more annoying is the fact that these morons try to talk Hawaiian Ebonics “pigeon talk” when they are white trash trying to fit in as a uneducated thug Hawaiian; that’s the most pathetic thing I have seen on TV to date.

Example: When a 15 year old white kid from the suburbs hangs out in the projects with the ghetto kids, the white kid will talk and act like the ghetto kids even know he is not one of them, sort of like Dog the Bounty Hunter and his annoying family. I guarantee the local Hawaiians hate Dog the Bounty Hunter because he thinks he’s a real Hawaiian which he is not; he’s just white trash scamming the system.

Dog The Bounty Hunter Episodes

Each episode starts out with me imagining how awesome it would be to punch Dog the Bounty Hunter in the face. Nothing too exciting, just a quick crack to the jaw to make a believer out of him. I suspect He has a glass jaw like most of the 10yr olds that I fight. Just thinking about landing a left hook is giving me a boner.

Back to the show. The theme song states “Dogggg The Bountyyyyyy Hunterrrr….” Wow, thank you Dog, for making me feel like drinking myself in to a coma now. Then just when you think you’re going to have high blood pressure (permanently), you see Dog the Bounty Hunters Wife’s’ huge tits and you start to wonder what they would look like if she wasn’t wearing and trampoline for a bra.

I hate Dog the Bounty Hunter. I remember hearing about how he got arrested in Mexico for drug trafficking, and he was all over CNN crying like a bitch, “hypocrite”. That was one of the most happiest days of my life next to meeting Chuck Norris of course.

Dog The Bounty Hunter Is A Fake

I don’t know Dog or his Brainwashed bible thumping family, yet I know enough miscellaneous bullshit about them to fill a book.

For example:

  • Why do I know that Dog is a fake?

Pretty easy,  if you were one of those crack-heads on the show and you knew that you were gonna get hog tied and raped by a bunch of Def Leppard Fans wouldn’t you at least try to throw a punch to defend yourself?  Exactly that’s why the show is fake and total bullshit. Dog never gets his ass kicked on camera, and I know he gets his ass kicked everyday because he is a Def Leppard fan.

If Dog The Bounty Hunter wasn’t annoying enough, he brings his fucked up family along for the ride. In particular, his  pussy son Leland with is stupid Air Jordan tattoo the kid can’t even play basketball he’s 4ft 9”, also his annoying sloppy titted wife Beth, “like she’s important for some reason”, or one of Dogs 15 illegitimate kids like his stupid daughter that doesn’t know what to do because the directors figured it would only complicate her more if they gave her instructions. Last but not least his shit-eating grin brother “Tim” what kind of hair cut is that? You have a Haircut like a My Little Pony Doll and you have teeth like you have been chewing on rocks sandwiches for years.

If I was on the run from these assholes I wouldn’t even run I would just threaten all of them that I would shave off their ridiculous haircuts if they came after me and then tell them to forget about everything. It would work because the only reason they are on TV is because of their jacked up haircuts and their train-wrecked family drama, their shitty show would get canceled and the networks would start to air Magnum P.I. again to fill the empty spot.

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