I’m A Dick

Counters  People think I’m a Dick

I would like to dedicate this Best Cigar Website in The World

To the love of my life, my soul mate,

and the greatest person in the world:  ME

 

 

FAQ

Questions:

How did this site start?

I had nothing better to do, and I’m getting sick of all the bullshit cigar ratings out there! Most of the ratings are giving away because of advertisement money. Example it costs $40,000.00 for a one page Ad in Cigar Aficionado, who ever advertises the most gets the higher rating. Why would anybody believe that a piece of shit $2 Punch cigar should be rated higher than a $20 Padron 1926. Trust me plenty of idiots really do including Cigar Aficionado .

How can you always be right if you contradict yourself?

That’s beside the point. What’s important is that I’m always right about everything. If you disagree with anything I have to say, you are wrong. For example… I changed my mind, I can’t think of an example. But trust me, I’m right.

Has your site ever received an award?

Yes, in fact, I recently gave myself the “The Best Cigar Website in The World” award:

I decided to give my site the award because it’s the best site I’ve ever been to. I love everything about my site. It’s the best.

Why Cigars?

Because cigars are one of the Manliest things left in our over feminized liberal Country! Plus I love cigars far more than my future EX wives or Future children.

How many people write for your site?

Just me. I do all the articles, graphics, programming, layout, email responses, etc.

Do you take donations?

Yes I will take your girlfriend and a case of Bud light

I’m under the impression that all the cigar snobs and vendors hate your site despite your overwhelming traffic. Do you ever get any fan mail?

Yes. Of the 100-200 emails I get each day, 90-95% of it is fan mail, and unfortunately most of it is more poorly written than my hate mail.

Do you post every hate mail you receive?

No. Although the overwhelming majority of the mail I get is “fan” mail, the hate mail I do get is usually not funny, not important, not original and not interesting to read. Most of the hate mail I get is fake because people want to see their email posted on my site.

How old are you? / Where do you go to school? / Where do you live?

I’m 36, I went to some shitty High School.
I joined the Army out of high school because I was going to go to jail or end up dead over something stupid.

During my time in the suck “Army”, I became a more physically fit disciplined Bad Ass that can shoot guns blow shit up and run 5 miles with 80lbs on my back in 95 degree weather uphill with the worst hangover of anyone’s life. In fact i was actually more Bad Ass when I was on the streets.

I now Live in xxxxxx and work as a Cigar consultant if there is such a thing.  I watch ESPN and smoke cigars all day long and Bash Liberals -(Favorite Past Time),  drink 5 coffees a day, and wait in traffic and hit every red light.

On my spear time i usually go to the local Chinese dive bars to pick up low self esteem women and to laugh at shitfacers, it’s a great self esteem boost if you been in there for a minute or two.   Occasionally I write shit and update all of our sites

Are You Married? / Do you have a girlfriend? / Do you have Kids

HELL NO I’M NOT MARRIED,  i enjoy my manliness.

Girlfriends – I don’t have time for GF’S or  Train Wrecked Women – Especially Flakes, Broads that think they should get their ass kissed on a daily basis, Girls that need attention every 2 min, and last but not least the ones with Daddy issues, Can’t fix that no matter how much Tylenol she takes to try to kill herself. Pretty much sums up 99.5% of all Women.

No Kids that I’m aware of, maybe in Hawaii somewhere or some trailer park in Maine

What is your favorite movie or movies?

That’s a stupid question.  The Warriors, probably the most MANLIEST Movie ever,  or anything with violence. I don’t know why movie producers spend millions of dollars on movies that don’t have violence, maybe i should be a movie consultant, in fact i should be because i know everything about  movies.

Why do you like Vikings so much and Chuck Norris ?

Pretty simple because they’re the baddest ass mother fuckers to rule the planet, and I’m a Viking on the weekends. Chuck Norris is the greatest American ever to live!

How often do you update your pages?

At least once every week. And by “once every week,” I really mean “when I get a chance.” And by “when I get a chance,” I really mean never.

Is there anything you do like?

Yes. Me

Where do you get all the images for your site?

Some time I take photo’s when I have time, but mostly I steal them. I have pussy retailers email me crying all the time. My advice is – get used to it, and  welcome to the internet!

Why don’t you have fan mail on your web site?

Because people typically find hate mail more interesting to read. The ratio of fan mail to hate mail I receive is about 25 to 1. Surprisingly, I receive a great deal of “fake” hate mail from people who want to see themselves quoted on my site. While I get a kick out of reading them, I usually won’t post fake hate mail.

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